


5 stages of sweet potato grief

by resuhance



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Crack, M/M, Mpreg, sweet potato hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resuhance/pseuds/resuhance
Summary: preggo taeyong wants his favorite sweet potatoes and poor johnny can’t find them anywhere
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 18
Kudos: 161





	5 stages of sweet potato grief

**Author's Note:**

> /this is complete un-betaed crack, due to the fact poor taeyong can't get his sweet potatoes #StarbucksGiveTaeyongHisSweetPotatoes/

_December 12, 2020 7:29 pm_

it all started with a simple request from one lovely taeyong. taeyong, love of his life, cream in his coffee, burt to his ernie, asked, “johnny? i _really_ want some sweet potatoes. you know? the ones they sell at Starbucks. _please_. your baby’s cravings are so bad”. followed by the what johnny could only describe as the biggest puppy dog pout that could be humanly possible.

and johnny being the biggest simp that he is for his precious pregnant husband said, “of course babe, anything for you” (but can you blame a man for loving his soulmate so much he’ll face the freezing cold temperatures of a winter time in seoul in order to obtain what is in his opinion overpriced chips? no, no you can’t) so he quickly puts his coat on, pats down for his phone, wallet, keys and kisses his mate on the forehead.

“i’ll be back soon my love.”

how he was so wrong.

  1. _denial 7:36 pm_



the hunt for the sweet potatoes started off good, johnny walked into his local Starbucks, decorated with holiday cheer as Christmas was rapidly approaching. he greeted the baristas by name and they greeted him back (since he’s befriended them all for years by now) and looked around for the familiar orange snack since his baby, taeyong and the actual baby, started craving them last week. unfortunately, his search up and down the aisles for the chips came out unsuccessful, so he asked his favorite barista taeil if they got any in the back.

“sorry johnny, we didn’t get any shipped this week, corporate wants us to sell more holiday themed food, so it’s been all gingerbread stuff since yesterday, i can put a request in?”, taeil said apologetically. “i can get you a venti peppermint latte free of charge?”

“thanks taeil, i’ll just go to the other Starbucks down the street and pick them up there, no big deal, i will take that offer of free coffee though.”

“okay, good luck john!”

he’ll need it.

  1. _anger 9:29 pm_



johnny was livid, no, absolutely furious! all these goddamn Starbucks and yet no success in obtaining the tiny orange tiny bastards! they don’t even taste all that great! and they’re expensive (just like everything else in Starbucks), what’s so great about them? 

just to get a sense of the effort put into locating these evasive snacks, johnny compiled a list of all the Starbucks he meticulously searched:

Starbucks #1 – pushing holiday themed food, which is to be expected, but did they really have to get rid of everything else?

Starbucks #2 – somehow out of all food in the store, including the mediocre cheese boards that costs an arm and a leg. also, his phone battery ran out right when he could remember he could just call the stores ahead of time and ask if they are in stock.

Starbucks #3 – a group of giggling teenage girls grabbed the last few snacks, and he wasn’t going to up to them and face the judgement that only kpop stans on twitter could survive. johnny was gonna take the loss on this one for his pride.

Starbucks #4 – was closed (CLOSED at 8 pm! what coffee place closes at 8? where will all the poor university students surviving on liquid caffeine and quick snacks go? 7/11 and face whatever godforsaken disease gas station sushi will give them?)

Starbucks #5 – converted into a Pizza Hut. no explanation required.

Starbucks #6 – hidden inside a grocery store, with the smallest kiosk he’d ever seen. so small they could only make regular coffee and espressos. no room for people, needless to say, no potatoes there.

Starbucks #7 - shut down for repairs (repairs?!? what do you need to repair??? It’s *coffee* all you need is hot water and BEANS).

Starbucks #8 – ghost Starbucks. that’s the only way to explain it. shows up on google maps as Starbucks but Johnny just stared at an empty lot next to a Planet Fitness for longer than was considered healthy.

which brings him to attempt #9:

Starbucks #9 – the last and final Starbucks johnny will travel to within a 20-mile radius of his house, and reach cause he’s running low on gas and patience. but mostly just patience.

  1. _bargaining 9:45 pm_



“please be there, please be there”, johnny pleaded, considering getting on his knees and praying, “let this last god forsaken Starbucks finally have the overpriced orange snack. i won’t ask for anything this Christmas: no PS5, no new camera, not even Christmas day sex, just please for the love of all that is good let there be sweet potatoes.”

“i’ll go to marks flute recital, i’ll give back the 20 bucks i borrowed from doyoung 2 years ago that he definitely forgot about,” johnny rambled, “heck I’ll even join haechan’s improv/slam poetry club and let him have blackmail on me”, johnny wailed to the sky, desperate for some higher power to bestow upon him the cursed snack food he’d been searching for.

  1. _depression 10:11 pm_



**FINALLY!**

he can see the small little bastards from the window as he’s walking up. after searching for 3 hours and driving all across seoul (johnny may be exaggerating here but give him a break), johnny finally located the bane of his existence and all was good in the world. truly a Christmas miracle.

Hallelujah. 

that is, until he tried opening the front door.

THUD

no, nO, NO

let me in _LET ME IN!!!!!!_

**THUD**

it was pointless, the store was closed.

now johnny wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was considering picking up the closest rock he could obtain and giving the coffee franchise from hell window the good ol’ smash and run but even he could admit he’d been defeated. defeated by the devil’s orange chips from hell.

  1. _acceptance 10:45 pm_



a dejected johnny begrudgingly drove home, empty handed, ready to break his sweet husband’s heart. as the snow started falling lightly from the sky, he couldn’t help but think about how much he loves his mate that he’d go on a mad goose chase around the city just to satisfy some craving that will likely go away by tomorrow.

he thinks back to the day that they met: first day of college when he moving into the freshman dorms with mama suh crying about her only son becoming a grown man in front of her eyes and papa suh with a proud smile and crinkle in his eye. walking down the dorm aisle with his pokemon bedsheets (don’t judge) he spotted the most beautiful man he’d ever seen holding a giant pink bunny. with soft pink hair and the cutest smile on earth, johnny was whipped for the boy before he knew his name.

soon they would get to know each other, taeyong he learned, was a dance major rooming with his best friend from high school doyoung. he and johnny soon became attached to the hip, trying out all the local food spots, taeyong becoming an unofficial model for johnny’s photography instagram, and johnny was in the front row for all of taeyong’s dance recitals.

one day during those dance recitals he confessed to taeyong, bringing a giant bouquet of flowers and reading out the confession he poured his heart and soul into, it would be perfect. had it not been the recital taeyong twisted his ankle, which led to the confession being in the back of an ambulance. but the dancer was charmed and admitted he liked him too, and that now that they were dating, johnny would have to carry him around everywhere while he had his brace.

and carry him around everywhere, he did. after college he’d carry him to his hometown to meet his parents and to see the place he grew up in, the swing in the backyard where he broke his leg in 3rd grade, the piano he practiced on after school till he was 12, smiling in the back while his mom showed taeyong every embarrassing school photo. carried him to seoul when taeyong got his promotion at work and needed to relocate to the city, learning a new city and making new friends, trying out new food joints and getting food poisoning from suspicious chicken wings. and carried him across the doorway of their new house (apartment) after they got married on a warm summer night in Ibiza, surrounded by their loved ones on the stunning island beach. johnny would carry taeyong anywhere.

_11:11 pm_

by the time johnny arrived back home he was exhausted, both mentally and physically (but really just spiritually). the place was dark except for the multi-colored string lights that adorned the Christmas tree in the center of the living room. holiday decorations littered around the home, the smell of gingerbread coming from the candle assaulted johnny’s nose. 

“baby, i’m home.” johnny announced while looking around the apartment, slouching off his coat and putting his keys in the bowl near the door.

no response.

“babe?”, johnny called out as he walked across the hallway into the bedroom.

pushing open the door, he found taeyong sleeping soundly in their bed, snuggling a pillow, looking like a fallen angel. as he admires his husband, he pushes back a strand of his hair and places a kiss on his forehead. then just when he reaches to plug in his phone to its charger when he spots _it._

the bane of his existence, the sweet potato snack bag, empty, crinkled, discarded on the floor, just taunting johnny by its mere presence.

funny enough this is also the time his phone decides to ding back to life with the tell-tale ring which means he got a text message.

taeyongie <3

hey bby, just found some snacks in my bag from yesterday, come home when you see this message, luv you

_sent 8:01_

goddamn it.

**Author's Note:**

> johfam follow me on twitter @resuhance and be my moots (i don't bite)  
> any kudos and comments are appreciated <3  
> merry chrysler y'all


End file.
